Letting go: dealing with a pet's death

Many people have a very close bond with their pets. A pet isn't just an animal that can be replaced; it is a companion and a friend. So it is no surprise that losing one can hurt deeply. These ideas may help you through the weeks and months that follow.

Accepting the loss

Everyone grieves differently. It is normal to feel shock, denial or anger at first. Allowing yourself to accept the loss, at your own pace, is part of healing.

Take small steps. At first, almost everything may remind you of your pet: their bed, a favourite walk, or nobody greeting you when you come home. These moments can bring strong feelings. Over time, most people find they slowly get used to the absence, even though it may never feel quite the same.

Talking to others

You may feel that nobody else could understand the bond you had, but try not to shut people out. Talk to someone who will listen kindly, whether that is a friend, a neighbour, a colleague, a family member or your vet.

In the UK, Blue Cross runs a free, confidential Pet Bereavement Support Service by phone, email and webchat.

Expressing how you feel

Some people find it helps to put their feelings into something creative, such as writing, painting, pottery or making a photo album. It can also leave you with a lasting memento of your pet.

Try not to blame yourself

Whether or not anything could have been done differently, going over it again and again rarely helps and can make you feel worse. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend in the same situation.

Helping children

Losing a pet can be especially hard for children, and it may be the first time they have experienced death. It can be tempting to tell children a pet has run away, but this can give them false hope and leave them feeling let down later. Being honest, in words that suit their age, usually works best, and means you can grieve together as a family.

Caring for your other pets

Pets can form close bonds with each other, and a surviving pet may seem unsettled, quiet or less interested in food after a loss. Keep their routine as normal as you can and give them some extra attention.

If a surviving pet stops eating or drinking, or seems unwell for more than a day or two, speak to your vet.

Getting a new pet

You may be tempted to get a new pet straight away to fill the gap. There is no set time to wait. What matters is that you feel ready, and that you choose a new pet for its own sake, not as a replacement for the one you lost.